The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello
by Comatose Overdose
Summary: Just some drabbles... about Matt and Mello at wammy's house. T to be safe.
1. Milk

**Hi guys! This is just a series of drabbles.... meh.... All about Matt and Mello when they were kids. w/ some near, L, and possibly, B, Watari, and Linda. **

**By the way, and I'm not lying, L is 10 years older than Matt and Mello, 3 years older than B, and 12 years older than Near. Mello is exactly 50 days older than Matt, and 2 years older than Near. B is 7 years older than Matt and Mello, and 9 years older than Near. Damn... My brain hurts now...**

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

"Mello, what are you doing?" L asked as he he came into the kitchen, seeing 4-year-old Mello trying to reach the top shelf of the refrigerator.

" I'm... Ugh... Twying to weach da .... milk!" Mello replied, standing on his tiptoes with his arms raised, stretching as high as his stubby limbs and short figure would allow.

" Want some help?" The 14-year-old detective asked.

" No fanks L! I gots it!"

" You sure kid?" Mello turned to look at him.

" Yep!"

" k then... Be careful." L said and he walked out of the kitchen, back to his own room.

After he heard the door shut, Mello went back to trying to reach the milk.

" Ugh!" He grunted. " Dere! I-" He started as he finally manged to touch the carton of milk with the tips of his fingers. He jumped up to try to scoot the carton even closer to the edge. Unfortunately, he scooted it a little too far, and the carton fell over. Milk poured all over his hair, clothes, feet, and the floor, before the now empty container landed on the ground with a thud.

Matt walked in at that moment.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! GOT MILK?!" He said laughing hysterically.

" Shut up." Was all Mello said as he stood up and walked towards the shower.


	2. Why L doesn't let Mello go off alone

**Hi guys! **

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

Today we will observe why L doesn't think it's a good idea for Mello to go off on his own on trips to the park. (really it's because he acts like a douche when L isn't around but I'll give some examples...)

**Mello**: I find this insulting.

**Matt:** I'll be in my room...

_**EXAMPLE #1**_

( Mello watches a girl about his age drooling over something, apparently lost in thought.)

**Mello:** Is that drooling issue of yours because of genetic inbreeding, or am I just that sexy?

_**EXAMPLE #2**_

**Mello: **(to innocent bystander) Yeah... um... I have a bet with my friends on what you are... One says you're human, one says you're an ape, but I say you're some kind of circus freak... Who's right?

_**EXAMPLE #3**_

**Mello: **( to a girl his age) You may think you're not pretty enough for me, but I'm sure I'm pretty enough for the both of us.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Mello:** ... ... ... I do not do stuff like that!

**Matt:** (from his room) Yes you do.


	3. Mello's good mood

**Hi guys! **

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

" Hey Mello! You've been in a good mood lately. What's your secret?" Matt asked as he walked into the room.

" Here, Matt... Let me show you." Mello responded. He quickly turned around from where he was and faced Near. He then proceeded to smack the said sheep in the face so hard, he fell over.

" Never mind..." Matt muttered.

" What was that for?!" Yelled a disgruntled Near, quite pissed Mello hit him for no reason.

Mello just laughed and Matt exited the room.


	4. Thinking

**Hi guys! Review!**

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

" So I was thinking earlier and-" Matt began as he walked into the room.

" Seriously? Good for you man!" Mello interrupted.

" Wow! That's amazing!" Added Near.

" What? Wait! I'm not done yet! I was thinking that... um... uh... it... I... CRAP!"

Mello just shook his head and said: " You really should have stopped when we were impressed, dude..."

" Yeah... That was sort of a let down..." Near said. Matt just grumbled and walked back to his room.


	5. Lines

**Hi guys! **

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

"Mello, I just talked to Near in the kitchen... He mentioned that a voodoo doll of him with a needle in both his chest and his butt was on the floor in front of his room. Naturally, he took it as a threat." L said walking up to the 11-year-old.

"Ya know, I would consider a Mello doll a thoughtful gift, but I guess it's a fine line..."Mello replied.

" IT'S A BIG FAT GLOW-IN-THE-DARK LINE!" L retorted now quite frustrated.

" It sounds pretty." Matt interrupted.

Mello just smacked him in the back of the head.


	6. Fun With the Wammy's House Kitty

Hey peeps! This one is more of a moment with BB and Mello, but don't worry Matt comes in at the end. BTW: This one really isn't all too funny, but hopefully the next one will be.

Chapter 6: Fun With the Wammy House Kitty!

Mello walked down the stairs, a black fuzz ball with green eyes in his arms.

" Mello... What are you doing with Nightmare? Put her down. She'll scratch you. You know the only one she likes is me." B said, looking at the little blonde boy, a bit concerned that holding the ferocious feline would cost the child his eyes.

" She's fine B!" The 6-year-old replied. "She's even purring!"

"Really?" The red-eyed teen said, quite surprised.

"MELLO!!! I JUST GOT ANOTHER GYM BADGE IN POKEMON! MY CHARZARD IS LEVEL 63!" Matt came running down the stairs, waving his Gameboy Color in the air above his head. He plowed right into the blue-eyed cutie.

They both fell to the ground and Nightmare hissed. She jumped out of Mello's arms. She jumped onto Matt instead and bit him on the nose.

"OW!!!"

Mello just laughed as Matt ran away crying, Nightmare chasing after him, trying to kill the unfortunate redhead.

B Shook his head and walked away.


	7. Broken Mold

Hey peeps! I forgot what I was going to say so... on with the drabble? :)? Oh! Wait! Right! This one has BB and L in it too... but unfortunately, it doesn't have My Mel-mel...

~M~

Chapter 7: Broken Mold

L was sitting with Matt on the couch, eating cake and watching the 9 year-old playing a very violent zombie game, when a certain psychotic, red-eyed weirdo walked in the room.

"HAHA! Hey L! I just got off the phone with Wammy! After I told him I was watching a funny movie where this serial killer takes a lawnmower to this cheerleader's face, he said that I'm the only one the world that would find that funny and told me that when I was born the mold was broken." He laughed.

Matt looked up from his game and responded to B's statement with:

"B... When you were conceived, the mold was broken by court order."

B snorted and said, "Hey, I wouldn't doubt it..." And he left the room.

"Weird kid..." L said and went back to devouring his pastry.


	8. The Puppet

**Hi guys! **

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

One day at Wammy's House For Gifted Orphans, a cute little blue-eyed blonde boy decided it would be funny to steal a certain albino child's favorite puppet and annoy the hell out of everyone in the house.

B was no exception.

Mello walked up behind the 15 year old boy with crimson eyes.

Now it just so happened that one day the previous month the top five children in the orphanage decided to tell their true names to one another.

Mello stuck the puppet in B's face and sang:

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Beyond, happy birthday to you!"

B calmly proceeded to take the puppet off Mello's hand and rip it's head off. He handed the two pieces back.

"_Now,_ lets see you make it sing."

"It doesn't matter anyway. It belonged to Near. Seeing that his favorite puppet has been murdered might actually make the runt cry!" Mello laughed and walked away.

A half an hour later, Matt saw a sobbing Near run out of his room. He looked in the door way and saw a rabbit puppet with it's head torn off lying on the bed.


	9. Laundry

**Hi guys! **

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

"MELLO!"

Said blonde smirked and laughed. Near was walking towards him, with quite the furious expression on his face. Mello started laughing harder. Near's pajamas were pink.

"I know you had something to do with this." Near said, his voice calm, masking the albino's rage.

"Well duh."

"Why must you constantly piss everyone off? You know, a lot of people wish you were dead..." Near's words didn't faze Mello in the slightest. He simply shrugged.

"The only enjoyment I have in my life is knowing I piss off everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. God forbid I should ever do that." He said.

Near sighed and shook his head.


	10. ADD

**Hi guys! **

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

" MATT! Are you even listening to me? UGH! You never pay attention to anything!"

"What do you mean I don't pay attention, Mello? I most certainly -oh, look! A SQUIRREL! - do too pay attention! How could you say such a thing?"

Mello just stood there, eye twitching.


	11. Sanity

**Hi guys! **

**- M**

_**The Hilarious Adventures of Matt and Mello**_

Mello was standing on a weak branch, 15 feet in the air. Matt was on the ground, panicking, worried for his best friend's life.

" MELLO! PLEASE! Come back down here! You could get hurt!" Matt yelled

"I'll be down there when I jump off this thing anyway!" Mello answered.

"YOUR INSANE!"

"Insane? Sorry, but I don't recall ever having something as useless as sanity." Mello crouched down and jumped up off of the thin branch, causing it to snap. Matt dove and landed on the ground where he thought Mello would land. He didn't. He landed a half foot away, in a kneeling position, with one hand on the ground. He stood up, looking at Matt, who was was laying face down on the ground, face covered in mud.

"Matt... You're such an idiot!" Mello laughed.

"What? No 'Thanks Matt for caring so much', or 'Sorry for worrying you Matt, let me help you up!' ?"

"Nope."

"Bastard."

* * *

Yeah, yeah, I know. Not really that funny. I got bored...


End file.
